paulmelko

Envy the Extraverted

paul.melko@gmail.com — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 02:09:35 GMT

Or not. I am exhausted, sitting here in my hotel room eating pad thai while the Hugos are going on. I'm tired mentally from all this. I can be 'on' when needed, but it wears me out. The shouted conversation at parties, the jockeying for position in the social scrums, remembering names, faces, and places. Meh.

This is the first year I've done programming, and that's probably it: two panels, a signing, and the SFWA meeting, all in six hours. I'm done, here at WorldCon, and it's only Saturday night. I couldn't stand another hot room party.

Maybe I'll watch the Olympics. ;)

A Day at Zoombezi Bay, or Save Your Money

paul.melko@gmail.com — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:41:42 GMT

The summer outing with the big kids was Zoombezi Bay. Built on top of the old Wyandot Lake location (where my brother worked as a teen), Zoombezi Bay is all new for 2008 and now owned by the Columbus Zoo. The kids enjoyed it, it seemed, but we parents did not. We made a list on the way home and came to the conclusion we won't be going back. Here's why:

Parking! What a mess! There's no easy way to go backwards in the lots. You either have to circle in increasingly larger circles (inefficient!) or exit the park and come back in (even more inefficient!) They have it set up like one of those big parks where everyone comes at the crack of dawn in waves. Only for someone who arrives at 1pm, the lot is impossible to navigate.

Distance to Park! We parked a long way from Zoombezi Bay. All park-goers (for zoo, Jungle Jack's, or water park) go through the same entrance. So to get to the water park, instead of going directly toward the park from the lot, we had to trek to the main entrance and then from there back to the park. It doubled our walk. And the buses weren't going.

Lockers! All right, it was a weekday, so there was a medium-sized crowd. But they had sold-out on lockers. Come on. It's a water park. Everyone needs a locker for their wallets and purses! Worse, the lockers were tiny little things.

Line Management. Poor! Several rides had a single line that split into two or more separate rides or slides. Usually one of those lines was shorter than the others, but there was no way to know which ride that was until you got closer. People had no idea which lines they were in for the Snakes. There was no one directing people. The attendant at the top was on his cell phone! Totally inefficient!

Line Time. Too much! It's a bunch of water slides! Get people moving through those lines faster. We spent a lot of time in lines. I think most of the lines could have been going twice as fast. For instance, no one was hurrying people out of the way. Attendants waited until people were out of the water and 10 meters away before letting the next group go. Totally inefficient!

Wave-less Pool! When the waves were coming, it was great, but it seemed that the waves only came 15% of the time. And every time we went out there, the waves stopped. Boring. I'm not paying $28 to swim in a wave-less pool. I'll go to the city pool for that.

Food! Blech! The pizza was cardboard. The corn dog was gummy. The seasoned fries had no seasoning. And the ice cream was gritty. (Worse, the ice cream attendant handled all the cones with his bare hands.)

Yeah, save your money. I can't recommend Zoombezi Bay at all. All right, hold on. There was some good stuff.

The lazy river was pretty good. And when the wave pool was crashing, it was awesome. But at a cost of over $100 for 4 people.... go to Kings Island instead.

Taekwondo Tournament Results

paul.melko@gmail.com — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:47:20 GMT

Audrey and Eli competed in a taekwondo tournament on Saturday, a regional affair held at the local high school. It was a mere five minutes from the house, so they were rooted for by grandparents on both sides, as well as Sister Michaela who was traveling in from Wisconsin.

Their school only competes against other schools in their franchise. I find that kinda weird and stagnant, but that's a conversation for another time. Five schools attended the tournament: Westerville, Hilliard, Fishers (Indiana), Lexington, and Northern Kentucky. Audrey's and Eli's school was the host school and rented Westerville Central High School for the event.

Tournaments have two events, forms (sets of predefined moves) and sparring. Audrey has been working on the brown belt form for four months now, so she has it down. Eli however has only been doing his red belt form for a few weeks. As expected, Audrey did well, placing fourth in her group for forms. She ended up tied for third, but when she did the form a second time, she did worse while the other girl did much better. She didn't give herself enough room and ended up running into the judges. Eli didn't place at all with the forms; he messed it up on the first try, took a turn the wrong way, and so had to take a 1 point deduction for redoing it.

In sparring, they divide everyone into six person single elimination brackets. Two people get byes, and the four others fight it out to see who advances. Audrey had to fight in the first round, and won. She then lost in her second round, so she had to fight for third. She won that too, taking the bronze metal. Eli had a bye in his first round, but took on the eventual bracket winner in the second round. The boy had a weird style of lifting his leg in a side kick and leaving it there; no one knew what to do about it. Eli accidentally kicked the boy square in the face, causing a few minutes break while he was attended to. I think Eli took it as hard as the kid did. In his battle for third place, Eli lost to a boy he sparred and beat all the time in class. Oh, well. They both did well and everyone had a great time.

This may be the last tournament for them for a while. The next few are out of state.

Analog Review

paul.melko@gmail.com — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:32:52 GMT

The first blurb has come in for The Walls of the Universe due out in February of 2009. Woo. But let's not forget the last book! Here's a nice review from Analog's Reference Library. Cool.

The Upcoming Schedule

paul.melko@gmail.com — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:41:07 GMT

Can't get enough Melko on-line? Of course not!

July 25-27: Confluence in former hometown Pittsburgh. I always enjoy going back and visiting with old friends!

August 7-11: WorldCon! I'll be in Denver next month for fabulous Denvention 3.

August 29: Lexington, KY. John Scalzi, Tobias Buckell and I are appearing at the Joseph-Beth bookstore. Ohio writers take on Kentucky!

September 26-28: Context in Columbus. Toby and I are doing a workshop on Writing Great Openings.

My Foot Matches My Belt

paul.melko@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:02:52 GMT

I tested for my purple belt last night. I was the only green belt and the third highest ranking tester there, which was odd. I'm very used to being one of the masses at the other end. Net result was that I had to do a couple forms as part of that group of three while the whole school looked on. At the time, I didn't really think too much about it. Now, it seems intimidating. Then, I just did it. (And muffed one of the forms, but close enough.) The only criticism I got (from Master Stanforth) was that the wood on the axe kick was too low. :)

I did manage to twist my foot though. I wasn't even doing anything serious, just stepping away from a kicking drill. I landed on the foot wrong, twisting it to the side. This was of course at the very start of the test! So, I did all my forms, self-defense, and sparring on a bum foot. This morning it hurts, and I can barely walk on it. I dithered about going to get it X-rayed and finally decided I'd re-evaluate this afternoon. I have too much to do!

Anyway, my foot is swollen and it's purpling to match my belt. That's me, color-coordinated.

Physics of a Nocked Log

paul.melko@gmail.com — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:56:07 GMT

I am back from the week-long writing workshop that is Blue Heaven. It is great fun to immerse oneself into the business of writing for an extended period. But I want to write about perhaps the damned-foolest thing I've ever seen. Let me paint the picture....

I had some reading to do on Charlie's novel, so I left The Village Pump early. The storm was passing through, with some wind gusts and heavy rain. I noticed immediately that the tree across the way had lost another part of its trunk. The first third of the trunk had fallen the day before, crashing across the street in the middle of a critique session. Now the second third of the tree had fallen. Only it had fallen the other way and was laying across some lines, whether power or telephone, I didn't know.

The trunk was pretty heavy and had bowed the line way down. The poles on either side were bent about 10 degrees from straight-up. I called the landlord. She wasn't too sure what to do, so she called the power company and the phone company. I sat down and started reading Charlie's manuscript, expecting the lights to go out at any moment.

Since we were on an island, I didn't expect anyone to show up to deal with it. The only way to reach Kellys Island is by ferry. But a few minutes later a truck from Handcock-Wood Electric Co-op showed up. Apparently it was on the island already. The driver stopped and told me it wasn't a power line; it was a phone line. I expected he'd drive off, but no.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of that for you," he said.

So he maneuvered the truck so it the bucket was near the trunk. While he donned protective gear -- helmet, gloves, eyewear, and reflective jacket -- his partner started up the chainsaw. The first guy guided the bucket right next to the branch. The branch was about 18 inches in diameter, and most of its length extended beyond the phone line. There was about ten feet between the wire and the trunk.

The first part he cut was the end extending beyond the wire. He used the chainsaw to cut above, then below. It broke off and fell into the woods. The wire didn't move. The heaviest part of the log was still across the line.

Now the guy started cutting on the other side of the line. After he'd cut maybe halfway, he stopped. He moved the bucket back to get a better look, or maybe just to back away. Perhaps he was having a moment of lucidity. In any case, the moment didn't last long. It was at about this time that I wondered if I should go get Toby's video camera. I didn't.

So the guy goes back to cutting under the log. Bzzzzzz! Suddenly, I heard a TWANGGGGG! Just like a bow and arrow, the wire flew back to its normal position and the two poles went straight. The log, which was about three feet long, flew straight into the air, spinning end over end. It reached 20 feet high at least, and, having gone straight up, came straight down.

Wham! It slammed into the bucket, caromed to the road and landed a foot from the second guy. If it been a foot in either direction, one of those two would have died or been maimed.

So the guy gets out of the bucket. He goes down and stands next to his co-worker. They stand there a few seconds, staring at the log.

Finally the first guy says, "That's a big piece of wood, isn't it."

Then they packed up and left without another word.

It's Better To Get Out of the Way...

paul.melko@gmail.com — Fri, 30 May 2008 20:45:46 GMT

... than block a kick. We padded-up and sparred today in Taekwondo. I have the bad newbie habit of blocking kicks instead of getting the heck out of the way. Both of my hands are throbbing. I could barely button my shirt afterwards. Better now, after some ice and ibuprofin.

I'm figuring it out slowly. But I was half as winded today as last week, and I landed twice as many kicks too. I'm very proud of the twist kick I planted in Dana's gut. But I took at least one head shot from him and ate at least ten body shots. Too much to think about, but it's coming.

Book Signing - June 7th

paul.melko@gmail.com — Mon, 26 May 2008 16:29:26 GMT

June 7 — Science Fiction Authors’ panel and book signing with Paolo Bacigalupi, Tobias Buckell, Charles Coleman Finlay, Sandra McDonald, Paul Melko and Sarah Prineas, 7 p.m. Barnes & Noble Bookseller, 1739 Olentangy River Rd.; 614-298-9516.

This is our pre-Blue Heaven signing. Come hang out with a bunch of up and coming SF writers. And me. ;)

Reflections on Half a Life

paul.melko@gmail.com — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:16:47 GMT

I thought that 35 was half-way, but I think 40 is a better milestone. It's been good; I have a wonderful family, a fulfilling career, a novel and a handful of stories published. I've learned and loved and entertained. Really, who can complain?

It's all been preparation for the next 40.

Nebula Sum-Uppedness

paul.melko@gmail.com — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 13:17:59 GMT

I'm dilly-dallying in my hotel room for the moment, waiting to take a taxi to the airport through a Spring thunderstorm in Austin Texas. The hotel has a flat metal roof that tops the 20 story high atrium. The rain beating is a constant roar, and the thunder is a random counterpoint. Amazing. Laura and Bill are off to Chicago, and I hope the rain doesn't delay them.

It was a well-run Nebulas. Everything went smoothly, except for the missing projector and screen for my presentation. Everything that I was associated with at least. My presentation of GriefCom went well. It was attended by two dozen people, a good turn-out for 10am. Several people came up to me afterwards telling me that it had been very useful. And I got a volunteer to man an open spot on the committee. :)

Afterwards the new board met with the old president. By now everyone knows that Russell Davis is the new president. He has a bold initiative he wants complete by WorldCon. The new board will support him as much as we can! Aggressive but necessary.

Then was the SFWA business meeting, not too exciting, except when we debated the merits of membership for graphic novelists. I don't think anyone in the room had much knowledge of what graphic novelists did, what problems they faced, or even if they wanted to be members of SFWA. Didn't stop us arguing however.

I hung out in the bar afterwards until the Nebula Awards ceremony. I saw too many people to list them all. :)

The awards ceremony was well-run. Joe Lansdale is a funny man. I did my part with Nancy Jane Moore, reading the novelette nominees and winner. Afterwards I shook Chabon's hand and made sure Bill did too, the big sissy.

Well, the rain has slowed, so hopefully we'll get out of here on time. I have too much to do to be delayed. :)

Off to the Nebulas

paul.melko@gmail.com — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:01:21 GMT

Today is a day off from work to prepare for my trip to Austin for the Nebulas. I haven't had a day off to catch up in a while. With four kids, an MBA program, book promotion, book edits, and book writing, things just pile up. But today, I'm trying to get everything done. Or if not done, then out of my sight.

So, what am I up to at the Nebulas, you ask. Well, let me tell you. First, I am co-presenting the Novelette Award. This is apparently consolation for losing the Hugo, Nebula, and Sturgeon Awards last year. :) On Saturday at 10am, I am presenting on the workings on the Grievance Committee. I enjoyed putting this presentation together, and I think people will get a lot out of it. Friday night I'll be at the mass signing at the Omni. I will be signing any book you put in front of me. I will also sign body parts.

I'll also be hanging with friends and colleagues. I hope to see you there.

Paul

More Than You Needed to Know About Paul

paul.melko@gmail.com — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 11:17:04 GMT

A follow-up to this review of Ten Sigmas and Other Unlikelihoods is this interview all about me.

Patrick also reports that Talebones #36 is in the mail. In that issue is my story "Cankerman's Shower." Cankerman's Twin is my current novel project and begins sometime after the end of "Cankerman's Shower." My big idea for these stories is that Cankerman is a misanthropic minor lord of a future galactic empire, making his way from place to place working cons and being a general ass. As you might expect, these are awful fun to write and, I hope, awful fun to read.

Singularity's Ringing! Pick Up the Phone, Alice!

paul.melko@gmail.com — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:22:17 GMT

Chance and Toby both reviewed my book over the weekend. With friends like these, I could take over the world and parse out the best territories to them. Toby gets the Alps. Chance gets Tierra del Fuego.

Chance reviews it here.

Toby reviews it here.

Thanks, you two.

TEN SIGMAS is Out Today!

paul.melko@gmail.com — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:25:24 GMT

It is official. Ten Sigmas and Other Unlikelihoods is out today! You can order it from the Fairwood Press site or from Amazon. For those interested in the contents, I've included the story notes from the back of the collection here for your amusement.

“Ten Sigmas” is one of three parallel universe stories in this collection – yes, I’m a bit infatuated with the idea – but this one is the one with the most interesting core idea. It first appeared in Talebones and later was published in Dozois’ Year’s Best Science Fiction, the first story from Talebones to make it into that long-running series. My pride in this story is enough that I chose it for this collection’s title.

I can not recommend Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies enough. It speculates on why societies rise and fall and boils it down to the practical aspect of domesticable plants and animals. His ideas led me to wonder how scientists could actually test them. It’s easy now to see how mankind developed in the Crescent Valley, but what if we could test those theories with real universes? “The Teosinte War” tries to answer that “what-if.”

It’s not easy being a normal person, with family and work commitments. Having a superhero’s job only makes it tougher. “Doctor Mighty and the Case of Ennui” is my take on superheros – and supervillains – who just aren’t in the right line of work. I put as many superhero jokes and puns in as I could and threw half of them out.

Stories I write end up being set in the cities I live in at the time. When I wrote “Alien Fantasies” I lived in Pittsburgh. I was also watching a lot of Late Night. I actually did write the entire top-ten list.

It’s not easy being a teen, and if there’s seven of you, you end up with seven times the pimples. “Summer of the Seven” is about growing up, jealousy, friendship, responsibility, all those things a teenager needs to learn, but also with a theme of scientific responsibility. “Summer of the Seven” is set in the same universe as my first novel Singularity’s Ring. (Tor Books, February 2008.) In the editing process, I realized the chapter didn’t add to the over plot arc, and so here it sits, cut from the final novel.

The novel begins with the novelette “Strength Alone” instead. This story made the preliminary Nebula ballot, but not the final one. Strom’s story still is moving when I read it.

“Singletons in Love” is the first story in the Ring universe that I wrote. It was a stand-alone novelette for Lou Anders’ Live Without a Net anthology. His theme for the anthology was one where the Internet was not the central technological gadget it seems to be for our world today. I posited a universe in which humans used biological means to create high-density human computers called pods. This story was reprinted in Gardner Dozois’ The Year’s Best Science Fiction, a first for me.

“Dysfunctional Family Cat” is my wife Stacey’s fault. She’s allergic to cats. That, combined with the fact that many seem to hold felines sacred, caused me to make cats the clueless villains of this piece. The earlobe-based drug dispenser is still one of my favorite bits of technological extrapolation.

I grew up in a trailer park very similar to the one in “Fallow Earth.” We never did come across an alien as shown here, though the people aren’t too far from the truth.

You seldom understand what a bastion university life is until you leave it. “Death of the Egg King” draws on my emotional state during my time in graduate school at the University of Michigan.

“Walls of the Universe” takes the nurture versus nature argument and uses parallel selves to see what happens when the selves are stressed to the limit. The people you end up hurting the most are those closest to yourself, and, of course, yourself. “Walls of the Universe” made the short lists for the Nebulas, Sturgeon, and Hugo Awards in 2007. It won the Asimov's Readers Award for Best Novella.

In writing “Snail Stones” I borrowed a bit of Haldeman’s All My Sins Remembered and Tiptree’s Brightness Falls From the Air, but with none of their drama. My protagonists are kids who find something wrong and do what they can to fix it. These are my favorite types of characters; these are my favorite types of drama.

Paul

The Blizzard of '08

paul.melko@gmail.com — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:08:18 GMT

Even before 3 inches had fallen, it was the dubbed The Blizzard of '08. Amazingly, my company let us have early dismissal. But not the schools for some bizarre reason. We woke up this morning to a foot of snow. Okay, fine. Blizzard, it is. Also, we woke up to out mailbox sheered off its perch by a plow. I propped it up in the snow bank. Maybe the postman can get to it. This is the third time since we've moved in here that the mailbox has been plowed.

The kids and I managed to get half the driveway shoveled. That is to say, the kids built snow igloos in the piles of snow I removed from the driveway. Poor Graham was shorter than the drifts. Claire stayed inside.

Clearly the gods are punishing Ohio for giving our electoral votes to the wrong person.

Release Week for SFNovelists

paul.melko@gmail.com — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:30:53 GMT

There are three releases from my associates at SFNovelists this week. SFNovelists is a group of writers who have banded together for mutual support and promotion.

First up is Sean Williams' paperback edition of The Changeling from Harper Collins Australia. This is the first in Sean's children's series The Broken Land. It looks scary!

Next up is Jim Hines' third book in his Goblin series: GOBLIN WAR! Check out this very funny series.

Fellow Tor author Mike Brotherton has new release SPIDER STAR out this week too. Mike is an astronomy professor, so you know this is some good solid SF. The plot involves alien artifacts and adventure.

Check 'em out!

Sick with the Flu

paul.melko@gmail.com — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:59:34 GMT

The entire family is sick with the flu. Stacey got it on Thursday. The kids went under one-by-one, except for mutant baby Claire. We had to cancel her party however. By Sunday we were all sick, even me. Yesterday we had to call in re-enforcements from my mom and dad. I think I've kicked most of it, but it was a mistake I think coming into work today. I'll probably go home at noon, take a nap, and then work from home the rest of the day.

When Claire Was One...

paul.melko@gmail.com — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 01:57:42 GMT

... I was at Boskone. That's okay. She has a party on Sunday.

But the kids made her some cupcakes:

which made her happy:

though the burning thing on her cake confused her:

Luckily, she figured out which part to eat:

Reviews and References

paul.melko@gmail.com — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 14:08:21 GMT

There's a nice review of Singularity's Ring in this month's Locus, opposite a page ad that shows it as one of four books from Tor this month. Also shown in the ad is fellow BHer Sandra McDonald's The Outback Star, sequel to her Bloom'n Onion Nebula. Gary K Wolfe sums up with "While some of these devices reveal the somewhat overplanned and schematic flaws of a first novel, Melko's skill both in story and setting is undeniable -- the Amazon sequences are particularly convincing, even if the Goldilocks business with the bears isn't (bears discover telepathy?). There's more than enough invention and imaginative courage here to suggest that Melko may be at the beginning of an auspicious career."

Not bad. Also, I got a nice spike of sales from a mention on Instapundit. That little link bumped me to #17 on Amazon's SF best sellers. Another review of interest is here at Fantasy Book Critic.

Paul

Boskone Schedule

paul.melko@gmail.com — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 10:35:37 GMT

Here I am at the airport on my way to Boston. It might be a good idea to post my Boskone schedule!

Come to my first ever signing of Singularity's Ring. That's right! You may be the first person ever to get a signed copy of my book. Well, I did practice signing on my ARC, but that doesn't count! Saturday @ 3pm!

Immediately thereafter, come see me read a story that isn't EVEN PUBLISHED YET! Yes, you heard me. Come hear me read the soon-to-be-lauded "Cankerman's War." Saturday @ 4pm.

Get up early to see me and Toby, as well as two other august persons, discuss the fabled 20 hour work week! Watch me whip out all my MBA knowledge. The panelists will be arriving via our jetpacks. 10am on Sunday.

Two hours later, I discuss a topic I embraced heartily for years: How Not to Get Published! Noon on Sunday!

With nary a break, I begin discussing why we need to fix the Hugos! I'll tell you why right now! I didn't win one last year! Sunday @ 1pm.

See ya at Boskone!

My Big Inflated Head

paul.melko@gmail.com — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:37:37 GMT

For those who still can't get enough Melko, and I think there may be two or three of you left, I'm the featured Big Idea over at Scalzi's site. In said Big Idea, I discuss the biology of the plurals that inhabit the universe of Singularity's Ring.

SFWA Grand Master

paul.melko@gmail.com — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 22:11:13 GMT

Who deserves it and why?

Current List of GrandMasters.

Launch + 1

paul.melko@gmail.com — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 19:51:04 GMT

In case you didn't, yaknow, get enough Melko yesterday, here's a review by Paul Di Filippo at SciFi Weekly and an interview by John Joseph Adams at SciFi Wire.

It's quite all right if you don't read them, because by this point even I'm pretty sick of me.

Release Date!

paul.melko@gmail.com — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:15:33 GMT

Yes, that long-awaited day is here, the most important day in the career of a budding novelist: the release date of his or her first novel. Ah, yes, from the moment the novelist awakens, it is roses and strawberries, kudos and laud. Let's peek inside the world of a budding novelist, and share this most wonderful of days:

7:30 am - Awakened to gentle music
7:45 am - Forearm and knuckle massage
8:00 am - Write ten words on next opus - can't disappoint readers
8:05 am - Trans-Atlantic interview with British fans - bloody good time
8:30 am - Bath of scented water
9:00 am - Limo arrives for start of book tour
9:05 am - Body guards escort novelist to limo; one fan bloodied
9:30 am - Arrive first book store
9:35 am - Use mechanical book signing machine to sign ten books at a time
9:45 am - Mobbed by crowd of fans
10:00 am - Stop at the retirement home of ex-English teacher
10:05 am - Note that you can to split infinitives to Mrs. Graves, see page 124
10:30 am - Arrive second book store
10:35 am - Sign body part of adoring fan
10:36 am - Erase and sign again
10:37 am - Erase and sign again
11:00 am - Radio interview with Howard Stern
11:30 am - Lunch with Nobel Literature Prize committee
12:30 pm - Write ten more words on next opus
12:35 pm - Call agent, demanding Mongolian Rights be negotiated immediately
1:00 pm - Take Hollywood's call
...

That's right! Singularity's Ring is out today, and that is exactly how my day is going. :)

Also released today is fellow sfnovelist Stephen Leigh's new book A Magic of Twilight. I'm sure his day is going just like I described above.